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It is the peak private of societies. Its yore is uncertain, its meaning undeveloped and its range unbeknownst. It has no name, holds no starchy meetings and its members fetch no card game. Clever. Anthropologists, teaming with an eclectic rank of scientists and academicians, have stumbled upon cherished few clues in their quest to expose the centuries old mystery.

Here is what they cognise so far around the "Secret Society" (SS):

-The SS meets spontaneously, seeming to have no strict code of pre-ceremonial obligations it must complete.

-The meetings are short-lived - or time-consuming - and, at times, of a limited continuance.

-The meetings are recurrently held in population venues, in the overloaded being of non-members.

-The members of the SS allocation an odd argot that, to the primitive ear, sounds like utter hokum.

Scientists have begun to put their energies toward perusal the odd dialect, basic cognitive process it may seize the key to the Secret Society's handiness to burgeon. Ancient texts relate the inspired adherents utilised a convoluted chain of grunts and chortles to semblance their field of study. Today, Anthropological Nutritionists acknowledge their jiggery-pokery may inhabit in the confounding language of weights and measures.

Discussions of "pinches and dashes," and "drops and dollops" are blatantly sinister, but their clear-cut objective has yet to be deciphered. The hurried scrawling of arcane messages, supporting the mocking abbreviations "Tbs., Tsp. and Pt." are particularly unreassuring. The certainty that the women - yes, the SS is unflappable entirely of women - aim their turmoil in the brimfull wishy-washy of day (and sometimes in the daytime terminated a nice meal near the neighbors) leads scientists to believe it may be too belated. The Secret Society may unrecorded... forever!

For frequent men the Secret Society is all too true. One face at a formula - yes, of course, it's assumptive an pinch of whichever variety exists - one stare is all it takes to displace even the toughest man to the local pizzeria, where he can cover his sorrows in a insightful serving dish sausage pie near emergency sausage. Ah... sausage.

There's hope.

In the odd thing you brainwave you are some hungry for dish and can persuade not a solitary inner self to whip commiseration on you and fashion it, try this recipe-for-the-rest-of-us for Homemade White Bean and Turkey Breast Soup:

-Put a Big pot on the kitchen range.

-Turn the burner to intermediate.

-Pour in plenty olive oil, or else oil, to coat the bottom.

-Pour in quite a few soy sauce.

-Chop up three big onions and toss them in.

-Chop up v or six cloves of garlic and throw them in.

-Chop up cardinal sticks of celery and throw them in.

-Optional-Chop up one sweet roasted pepper (it comes in a jar) and flip it in.

-Chop up a brace handfuls of smoked fowl breast and throw it in.

-Mix the material about and let it fry up.

-Open five cans of white beans, or others (Great Northern, Cannellini, Pinto, Butter...)

-Top off the pot next to water and go around up the warmth to large.

-Add otherwise seasonings you approaching - salt, piper nigrum - or, thyme, cuminum cyminum or capsicum pepper plant.

-When the potage boils, crook the burner fuzz to low and continue... for nearly xxx written account.

-Soups on! Enjoy.

Now that you've down pat the pot and enjoyed the fruits, or soups, of your toil you're in for the existing stand up to. When you manager out future to go in whichever friends for a in arrears dark gossip and chai, be arranged. Barely palpable at the onset, you'll shortly insight yourself sick by the language at the adjacent array. Something in the region of a cup of capon unoriginal or a morsel of... This is how it begins. They wheedle their quarry with deceit meticulousness and musical no compassion to simple-minded-men, conscripting them as eunuchs in the lasting employ of the Secret Society.

Escape now!

Get up and escape into the darkness, renunciation evermore the cadence of the ladle, the pleasantries of the pantry. Your existence depends upon it. If you tarry, it will be too postponed...